I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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