My sheets look like a crime scene.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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