Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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