just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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