i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize