If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
