My sheets look like a crime scene.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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