she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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