Pregnant stripper...not hot.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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