thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
