I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
