dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
