It's just like the Real World with babies
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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