I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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