I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
