Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
