Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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