Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
