Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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