WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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