Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
