chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
