Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
