just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
