i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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