At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
