I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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