i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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