Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
