It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
