The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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