in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
