was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
True strength comes from lack of pants
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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