You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
cat food counts as protein by the way
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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