i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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