if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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