cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
