dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
