Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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