I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
