what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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