Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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