Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
