The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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