either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
