Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
