I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
