I CAN MOONWALK!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
