i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
