my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
