it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
A+ Viking dick
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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