why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You may now shotgun with the bride
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
