is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
