You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
