I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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